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I haven’t been writing. Here’s a brief synopsis of why.

*On January 29 a blog post on BookRiot, followed by The Huffington Post, about my Dead Writers perfume went viral. Nearly 400 orders were placed in my shop between then and the end of February. To put that in perspective, my previous high was 87 orders in one month…at Christmas. Usually, I get anywhere between 30-50.

*On February 16 things began to slow down to a more manageable pace (no longer working from 9am – 2am!) and my friends and family flew to Seattle to give me a baby shower! It was grand! We made onesies, everyone but me got really drunk, and my 13 year old cousin not only drew the phrase “Breast Milk Pump,” but drew an anatomically correct picture that was correctly guessed in roughly 7 seconds. During this weekend we watched Parks and Recreation, specifically the episode where Tom and Donna take Ben on an excursion of self-pampering they dub, “Treat Yo’ Self.” This became the mantra of the weekend.

Should I get this bacon Bloody Mary? Treat Yo’ Self.

Should I buy a new wardrobe even though I won’t fit into anything within the next month? Treat Yo’ Self.

Should we order the $100 per person chef’s tasting menu? TREAT YO’ SELF!


I’m one of those people who gets easily distracted by connections I make in my head and then don’t voice until 10 minutes into the conversation so everyone’s like, “What? How long have you been thinking of that? What kind of mental acrobatics did you do to arrive at this point?” Here it is:

I’ve been getting a lot of new customers to my shop who want advice on what perfumes to try. Most of them are intrigued by handmade perfume and wonder what it’s like. Others are just nervous about buying perfume they’ve never smelled over the internet which I totally get. If you want to Treat Yo’ Self to some fine perfume (see what I did there?) here is what I usually recommend.

First off… my top three selling perfumes are Dead Writers, Remy, and Georgiana. (That alone helps some.)

Antoinette: Do you like to smell like a bouquet of freshly picked Spring flowers? LOOK NO FURTHER. The jasmine, tuberose, moss, and bergamot work together to ensure that even if the winter makes you feel like you’re waiting for the guillotine, you’ll be transported to the Hall of Mirrors. History!

Clara: Are you a single lady who likes to hit the clubs and (gasp!) show a little ankle?! Then the sexy sandalwood and tuberose combination in this perfume will make you feel like a silver screen siren. No really. This one is basically a sex perfume. If you’re trying to be sultry, this is the one you want. One warning though: I am a migraine sufferer…this is my one perfume that I can’t wear because the smell is too heady for me. If you get headaches easily, don’t do this one.

Dead Writers: Do you wear patches on your elbows and sit in dimly lit rooms drinking black coffee or tea smoking packs of clove cigarettes (Djarum Blacks)? If this describes you, or you’re just the type of person who prefers a “dirty perfume” then put some of this on before you head out to work on that novel at the local coffee shop. Dead Writers is musky and has a stale smoke smell. It is lightened by some vanilla and heliotrope (a flower that in combination with the vanilla smells like a sweet milk creamer you might add to your tea). If you’ve never had a musky perfume and want to live dangerously without smelling homeless, go for the Georgiana. More on that below.

Georgiana: Are you a lady who dresses for dinner and… I can’t think of anything clever, basically you are Dowager Countess Maggie Smith elegance. Georgiana literally smells like a cup of Earl Grey tea. It’s my most subtle perfume and has a soft, sultry, smokiness that is perfect for an evening on the town. I wear this one when I want to be fancy. If you were interested in the smokiness of Dead Writers but don’t want to overdo it with the musk, then Georgiana is the one for you. The bergamot really brightens it up and it smells more feminine.

Maynard: Do you want to smell like the frontier? Maynard has a bunch of old timey ingredients (sassafras, gin, the sweat of men who founded cities) and somehow smells like clean root beer. What does clean root beer smell like you ask? Like Old Spice and root beer… but BETTER. That’s what. A gentleman friend took home a sample of Maynard from the aforementioned baby shower and told me yesterday that he “smells like a BOSS and gets looks from all the ladies.” That’s not to say a lady can’t wear this one. I wear it sometimes when I want to be the Boss. (I’m never the boss though, guys 😦 Too meek.) Basically if you enjoy root beer and like to smell shower fresh, May May be your pick.

Pamplemousse: Do you like to smell like a summer cocktail, not because you’re an alcoholic but because you just enjoy the scent? If you live in San Francisco, specifically the Mission, then you’ve heard of a restaurant called Beretta. They make a drink called Pamplemousse that is basically grapefruit juice, gin and St. Germaine (might have champagne too, can’t remember). Once I discovered this drink, my weekends for the rest of the year I lived there were booked. This perfume makes me think of happier times when I wasn’t pregnant and could drink delicious grapefruit cocktails and sit in the sun. On the skin: Pamplemousse has an intense grapefruit citrus smell for about 20 minutes to an hour which then melts into this amazing honey tea scent. All of my perfumes have layers and this one is probably one of my favorites to just sit there noting the smell of my wrist over the course of 8 hours.

Remy: Do you like to smell like honey and the Egyptian market? Perhaps you like something light, a bit powdery, and suitable for everyday wear. That’s Remy. I wear this perfume every day. The saffron and sandalwood gives it a slight exotic spiciness that is balanced out by sweet, sweet honey. Behind Dead Writers, this is the top seller.

Thoreau: Are you a gardener who likes to take the scent of earth and tomatoes with you wherever you go? This perfume is unisex and smells like a forest or a freshly tilled plot of garden, depending on your nose. The clary sage ingredient further has a head clearing property to it – if you’re a headache person, this one might be nice to sniff. If you like to smell like greenery, this one’s for you.

HRM Victoria: If you’re into pomp and circumstance and like a sugar scent, Victoria is your go-to. It smells like lavender and melted molasses. This one is closest in scent to what you might find at a Bath and Body Works…but there are three all natural ingredients in this one: French Lavender, Amber, and Vanilla. At BBW there would probably be at least 15 ingredients you can’t pronounce. The scent is very sugary, but the lavender gives it an air of regalness (word?). Lavender was, after all, Queen Vic’s favorite scent.

There you have it, my perfumes in a nutshell. Also, my new labels are done I’m just trying to figure out how to get them to print correctly using Windows 8. So if you order, you might get a label a bit different from what you see in the photos. I’m hoping to have better photos soon too, baby steps people.

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